Conversations
with troublesome
Emotions
Why would you not?
A ground-breaking new book redefining how we talk about Emotions, exploring through immersive visuals and simple tools and allowing this lost language to take shape again. Designed to be approachable, universal and visually stunning, it’s focus is on Mental Health and Personal growth, and also as an aid for the Neurodiverse market.
Feeling the frustration of the lack of understanding in the public domain, Jo de Vries, a Complex Trauma Psychotherapist, has put this clear reference book together to help spread this much needed information.
She has stated that this book is the culmination of her life’s work and experiences, and has been driven to inform more than her client base in this powerful, illuminating book.
It is her take on the emotional world and an online and audio book will be available in due course to further benefit an additional audience.
Prologue
Healthy emotions might feel scary but they are not meant to be. They are all messengers who are trying to tell us something and we have unlearnt how to hear them. They are a lost language. Why would they not surface for us? Why would we not be anxious or angry at times? All emotions are felt in the body and I have given examples of how this may occur for you to tune into.
So, next time you feel one, say “Hello” and acknowledge it; then, identify/name it, and ask it “What are you trying to tell me?” and then thank it. They are not mysterious but actually very simple.
So, here’s to understanding them…
Discover Your Emotions
About the Author
Jo was born into a middle-class family; the type of dysfunctional family Social Services should have been involved with but never got a look in.
Her Dutch father emigrated from Holland where he survived German occupation, his favourite brother being shot dead serving in the Dutch forces at the age of 18. He was a Nuclear Engineer by trade, emotionally distant and controlling, obsessed with the latest invention he was working on in his garage. Her British mother was a narcissist and was hugely envious of Jo, destabilising her where possible, which is not surprising given her mum’s background.
Her maternal grandparents were worse. A depressive grandfather who sexually abused her as a young child, enabled by his physically abusive, controlling wife, who then went on to target other female members of the family. They lived across the road from her childhood home so they were hard to escape.
Boys being revered in her family, Jo was written off at 18 months with the arrival of her younger brother. She was then considered the ‘bad’ child and at the age of 8 sent to a Convent school for her potential sins. The nuns were given permission to knock the ‘cheek’ out of her which they did emotionally and physically.
Despite undiagnosed ADHD and with severe anxiety she did manage to get to University, and graduate, thereafter spending 13 years in the Corporate world (not the best fit for her!) before having a full breakdown in her mid-30’s. Pandora’s box had opened and she began her personal journey on resolving her past. EMDR was the holy grail for this. She finally found HER voice, learnt about HER buried emotions, gained great boundaries and cut the toxic people out of her life. She also forgave her parents.
This is one example of what is known as a Complex Trauma background and which she feels that also helped qualify her to write this book. As a Complex Trauma Psychotherapist (qualified in CBT, Psychosexual work and EMDR) Jo has since devoted her working hours to help clients also resolve such damaging starts in life. Her therapy dogs Ray and Trevor are most helpful in this too.
